Premarital sex of any kind

How the Gospel Addresses Premarital Sex of Any Kind

The worst thing about premarital sex — and I’m talking about any kind of premarital sexual intimacy whatsoever, all you line-drawers — is not what it does to us, but what it does to God.

1. Some self-centered reasons not to do it: exposure to STDs, possibility of pregnancy, develops awkwardness, splits our hearts, confuses our decisions, makes us want more, adds credentials to our tickets to hell (not that we need any), uses people, etc.

2. The impotence of these reasons: My thoughts on sex have been taken captive, as so many of my fellows, in part by American sex education and in part by misunderstandings from church. My top three reasons for not having premarital sex were: afraid of dying (STDs), afraid of ruining my life (unplanned pregnancy), afraid of going to hell (“some sins are worse than others”). These are the self-centered reasons (flawed, indeed) I had for not engaging in premarital sex. They were not powerful enough to overcome my desires. Ultimately, I became a slave to sexual desires, and repeatedly fulfilled them in mind or deed, for over ten years.

3. The real reason not to do it: Having sexual intimacy and experiences outside of marriage dishonor and displease the God that made us and loves us. They go against the commitment of romance and the romance of commitment that He designed. They make relationships me-centered rather than God-centered first and other-centered second.

4. The gospel as the solution: God offers absolute forgiveness and an intimate relationship with Him. This relationship alone will quench unholy desires for premarital sex. Being religious (as I was) won’t cut it. We cannot fake a relationship with Christ, fitting Him in like a poodle, and expect His voice. This relationship is accessible to us, with all our flaws, only because of Jesus’ perfect life being sacrificed in place of our starkly imperfect lives.


About davestuartjr
Dave Stuart Jr. is a full-time teacher who writes about becoming better, saner teachers at He is a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband to Crystal, and a father to Hadassah, Laura, and Marlena.

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