I praise God for what happened today. What happened was I sat under the dentist’s drill for a deep filling and stood in Christ.
All before the visit I was taken by bouts of gut-swirling anxiety. Do you know that feeling? I prayed almost constantly. At times I prayed in the Spirit, not knowing at all what to ask for. I asked Crystal to pray for me. I talked long with God about it, over all the options.
One option had been to ask about laughing gas. I decided before the visit that this was not a good idea, as this act of cowardice would spend money we didn’t have. Instead, I would rely on Christ. At times that seemed as hollow as a drum, but now I praise God for it.
God brought me to a dental office that is not like the one of my youth. It does not have TVs built into the ceiling. It is not in a building all it’s own, but rather is in a strip mall. The “room” I was in had no wall separating it from an adjacent chair. Equipment appeared old. There was not a great smell to the place (kind of smelled like food). But I praise God for this place, for the Holy Spirit has placed gentleness in the hearts of its workers, from the desk staff to the hygienists to the assistants to the doctor himself.
The doctor (Dr. Jun Park) was a man that seemed to elevate me in his heart above himself. Instead of doing my tooth in one sitting, he was careful to numb the area with gel, then apply novicain, then wait for ten minutes, then apply a larger dose of novicain. Because of this care, which now reminds me of the care that Jesus has taken with me, the drilling was much less noticeable. There was the tiniest sensation when he got to the deepest point, but it was nothing compared to any filling of my past (and this was by far the deepest filling I’ve ever received, I think).
He didn’t browbeat me. He didn’t tell me I didn’t floss enough. No one at the office ever did that.
If I seem to be worshipping the office, let me assure you that I’m not. I’m worshipping the God who has created this dental office and then led me to it, of the myriad offices and doctors listed with my insurer. God led me to exactly this office, for exactly this filling, for exactly this time in my life when I am in the middle of a spiritual struggle.
I realized some precious things today both before the chair and while on it. I will try to share them here, in no order:
- Jesus didn’t die as just as an example for me, but rather in my place. No I will never face death; I will never die. There is nothing, now, that He has not already gone through for me, that I might always have hope in Him.
- Courage is joy in Jesus. It is not the lack of fear. I was afraid today and before today. Many times in the last two days I came to God with hands empty–especially this morning–and told Him that I had nothing to give to Him, but that I was in desperate need. This situation was hopeless without Him. And yet, I sat through the whole thing, through nerves and deliverance from them, with the Lord.
- Jesus is alive. I knew this in head but realized it in heart while on the chair. Jesus died as me, and now lives as me. He is on a throne.
- Jesus is alive. I say it again because I need you to know that Jesus is alive, the One Who weeped at His friend’s death, Who washed His disciples’ feet, Who made the deaf-mute man able to hear and talk, Who calmed the storm, Who walked on the sea, Who whithered the tree, Who rose from the dead. This Jesus, the real Jesus, is both infinitely personal and infinitely powerful. He’s not just one or the other. He has power to form worlds with a word or a song, but He also has compassion on the stillborn infant, the infant’s parents, the the world’s leaders, and the 24-year old white male in Catonsville, Maryland who presented his worry about a dental filling to Him for two days. Jesus, with power to close the Grand Canyon, held my hand today in the dentist’s chair. He talked to me in the dentist’s chair, even while orchestrating the redemptive work in all the cosmos.
Thank You, Jesus. Please be glorified in my life.
PS I have to tell you, I must admit this, that I was more happy in the Lord after that dental appointment than I have been in awhile. I mean, to the point where I had a hard time keeping my mouth shut about Him. Consider this!!!!!!!!
Tags: anxiety, Christ's personal touch, Christ's supremacy, courage, dental fear, Dr. Jun Park, fear of pain, Grand Canyon, Jesus, Jesus is alive, liquid fast, novicaine, spiritual struggle
