Father, when Jesus left the disciples, they went back to their meeting place (after staring into the sky after Jesus) and began to “join together constantly in prayer.” Father, I don’t do that. I do not act so dependent on you. But acting is pointless, for you know everyone’s heart. I beg You to pierce my throat, my heart, my mind, my being with a firy, burning love for You.
Lord, you choose. You choose, God. You choose who will be where at any given time. Your sovereignty in making these choices is unthinkable to me; how do You choose and control while at the same time Your creation has a will of its own? Lord, I ask that these two wills might be reconciled to Yours by the blood of Your Son.
You show. Perfectly at Your own time, Father, You show us what we need to see. Earlier in this chapter the disciples asked if it was time for Jesus to throw down oppressive Roman rule and become sovereign king of Israel forever, like the Scriptures promise. Jesus told them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by His own authority.” Your timetable is perfect–I have no reason to believe otherwise. I can come up with ample evidence that there is great evil and suffering in the world, in those I love, and in myself; however, greater evil and suffering fell upon Your Son’s head. And this was all part of Your plan.
Sometimes it doesn’t make sense what You’re doing. It doesn’t make sense when Crystal and I don’t get along, why You would ever want that to happen, how that could ever glorify You. First of all, it hurts both of us, and second of all, it dishonors You. Why do You even let it happen? I could ask. Why don’t You perfect us now?
But You’re God. My mind rebels against surrendering to You, but surrender it must. There is an infinite gap between our intelligences.
I rest in the knowledge that You show me exactly what I need to get on at any given time. And I confess that I do not pray with You as much as I ought. And even more, I do not listen to You enough. And all of these things come down to this, God: my heart does not burn with a love for You.
I ask You to ravage my heart for You. Make me ravished with You. Steal my heart, for it grows cold and weary of it’s own habit to wander from You throughout the course of any day. I start my mornings with You (most of the time; I wish all of the time), and then throughout the day I stray into indifference, or bitterness, or anxiety, or impatience, or anger, or foolish talk.
You have chosen. From the beginning You’ve chosen all events, all people, all times. Rest in this, mind! Rest! You have chosen a time to come where shalom shall be here, full well-being shall be here, the absolute flourishing of creation will be here. The trees will dance, the fields will sing, and the best sensations of love and intimacy I’ve ever known will compare as a dew drop to an atomic bomb explosion.
These truths do not utterly change the way I behave as a result of my sinfulness. Truly I am the other criminal, completely naked on a deserved-cross next to Jesus. I deserve crucifixion and hell, unlike Christ. You did nothing wrong, and yet were hung. I ask You, Jesus, to please remember me in Your Kingdom.
The gospel, Tim Keller says, is that I’m more terrible than I ever dared imagine and more loved than I ever dared hope. At the core of my religiosity are fear and pride; I nurture the very roots of evil in the core of my being. I use the law to get the love of God, myself, and others, and in so doing I make the law into an oppressive thing for myself and those around me. But God, if I could only use Your law to give love, out of an already overflowing heart of love for You–to give love out of that heart to You, others, and myself, then what a healing power would be released into the lives of myself and those around me. And how pleasing I would be.
And yet, that’s a lie! Because of Jesus, I already am pleasing to You, not because of anything I’ve done but because of everything He’s done. He did obey the law out of a perfect loving relationship with You, and indeed it brought great healing to those around Him and to the entire world.
Tags: Acts 1:24, Book of Acts, God, God the Father, God's authority, God's election, God's revelation, God's Son, God's sovereignty, God's timetable, healing, heart for God, Holy Spirit, intelligence gap, Jesus, lies of Satan, meditation, pleasing to God, rebellion, Scripture, the cross, the gospel, the other criminal
