Meditation John 19:30 “When He had received the drink, Jesus said, ‘It is finished.’ With that, He bowed His head and gave up His spirit.”

Maybe this is the holiest verse in Scripture, or the most sacred. Speak to me, Lord. Make me a listener.

All Scripture is breathed of God. There is no “holiest verse.” But surely, this is an unnameable moment, unfathomable in its weight. God dying. God calling out from hell, “It is finished.”

Jesus’ last words tell me: “I have traversed every inched between you and God, David” (Tim Keller). Buddha’s last words were something like, “Strive without ceasing.” Jesus’ tell me that He’s already strived.

What tension exists between the absolute sovereignty of God and what is required of me. What is required of me is faith in Him–yet even this faith results not from me, but from His drawing, His calling, His work of election.

It’s all God. God is in control of everything, even, somehow, my free will. I do not fathom His control, as my friend Kevin explains, because when I am sovereign of something, I have complete control over it. It does nothing apart from my allowance. There’s very little that I’m sovereign over. I’m sovereign over a model train set, if I had one. I can’t understand sovereignty like that over someone with free will. My mind won’t grasp it.

Lord, speak peace into my heart, truth into my life. Your Holy Spirit will lead me into all truth, as well as I can bear it. You speak to me only what I can bear; You share with me only what I can bear.

Father, I pray for Ryan and Nikki, for peace and comfort during a difficult week of surgery and heartache. Heal their hearts, Father. Heal their broken hearts.

“It is finished,” You said. This term was used to write across a bill to show that the bill was paid in full, now null and void. I cannot fathom! Body, understand this! Feel it! Sense it! Your debt has been paid in full by your Lord! Submit to this! Rest in it! Bathe in its truth daily! Now!

In a sermon by David Bisgrove (preacher at Redeemer Presbyterian Church of New York City), I learned that J. I. Packer (a theologian whose work I’ve not read) said something like, “Meditation is arguing with myself until information becomes sensation.” Indeed! So understand this, self: It is paid.

What is left, God? Living to please You, living to enjoy You. These things I can switch to work. I can do them out of fear or pride, the roots of evil. At the heart of my religiosity is fear and pride. I want to earn Your favor; I’m afraid of not doing that. I want to be more deserving of Your favor and blessing than others; I’m proud.

Oh, my God, my pride! How much blood it required! “What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.” It’s true–nothing else is sufficient, yet His blood is over-sufficient, washing away my sin as a sand castle in tsunami.

Like a sand castle in a tsunami is my sin before Your blood. Utterly demolished. Nothing left but a smooth beach, devoid of flaw. Not an inch of flawlessness from myself; no, not a grain. Lord, what grace is this!

Father, I confess my selfishness. I confess that fear and pride lie deep within me as motivators. I need the surgical perfection of the Holy Spirit; I thank you for the operation You’re doing in my heart. I do not understand Your election! No, not at all. And yet, Your election frees me to pray for the lost and to speak to them, to speak to them about the gospel.

Lord, let the gospel be known throughout the word. Let it be communicated clearly. More importantly, let it be received and grown into faith by the Holy Spirit. Father, no one comes to You unless they are drawn. Draw them, God. Draw all my students, all the students in my school, all their parents, all the staff at my school. Draw the entire community. Radically transform this community. Awe the world with Your might to change, Your ability to transform lives, change hearts, and save the lost–things that people cannot do themselves.

Father, convince me of my brokenness next to my students. It is out of my brokenness that I teach poorly, that I use the authority of teacher to abuse or oppress students. It is out of their brokenness that they obey poorly, that they abuse and oppress me. This is unifying. There is a fellowship of brokenness now between myself and my oppressors. We have all fallen impossibly short of You; Jesus has traversed every inch for all of us.

You are a God of infinite excellencies. You don’t fit in conservative or liberal or moderate.

Thank you for this cross, Jesus. Thank you for finishing Your work, and from the pit of hell acknowledging it, from the pit of hell loving God, quoting Psalm 22, saying, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

“Oh, precious is the flow that has made me white as snow. No other fount I know, nothing but the blood of Jesus.” Robert Lowry, 1800s

Father, do Your will with our wedding planning. Let our wedding be centered on Christ, centered on this cross, centered on the blood of Jesus and what it means for marriage. God, communicate the gospel through Ryan and through the ceremony. Holy Spirit, most of all, move. Blow. Burn like a raging forest first in that place, in those hearts. Prepare those hearts right now! Go to them, right now, Holy Spirit, and prepare them for the fire! Prepare hearts for the fire, Holy Spirit of God! Prepare the way for the Son of God in their lives! A real, living God! A new king! A master that we can finally trust, because this master has died for us.

Tags: Buddha, Christ's blood, David Bisgrove, election, faith, fear, God, holiest verse, Holy Spirit, It's finished, Jesus, John 19:30, last words, master, meditation, model train set, oppression, oppressors, pride, Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City, root of evil, Scripture, sovereignty, the cross, Tim Keller